I haven't been in the mood to write about sports lately but with the release of the Mitchell report I couldn't help but provide a few random thoughts. I was relieved to not see Woody's name come out. I knew that there was speculation about him so this made me pretty happy. I also hope Sosa feels vindicated after all the shit he took about his congressional testimony. Maybe 66 should be the new single season record. There was a whole laundry list of players named, including a few former Cubs, so I thought I would provide a little commentary on some of these jags.

•  

But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Every year the Ringling Brother Circus come to the United Center, and the clowns head west for their annual beating.  The 2-8 Bulls haven't disappointed us with this year's effort with their only win coming against the hapless Clippers. At least they'll be in New York on Saturday so they should walk away with a win. The real question is which game would you rather watch the Pre-Season N.I.T. championship game on Friday or the thrilling Bulls v/s Knicks game on Saturday.

Stand Navy out to sea, Fight our Battle Cry;
We'll never change our course, So vicious foe steer shy-y-y-y.
Roll out the TNT, Anchors Aweigh. Sail on to Victory
And sink their bones to Davy Jones, Hooray!

Anchors Away, my boys, Anchors Aweigh.
Farewell to foreign shores, We sail at break of day-ay-ay-ay.
Through our last night on shore, Drink to the foam,
Until we meet once more. Here's wishing you a happy voyage home!

Hats off to the Midshipmen of Navy! Nothing put energy back into an annual series like breaking a 43 year losing streak. Hell

Greetings from lovely Baltimore, Maryland where the city motto is, "At least we're not Detroit!" Actually the Inner Harbor and the area immediately surrounding the convention center seem pretty nice. Not that I've seen much of the city what with the 14 hour days and all. Since I knew I wouldn't get to see many games I thought I would give you a review of one of my favorite books about college football. But first just let me say I was waaayyyyy off about the defense of the Native American Peoples of the District of Columbia.

So without further ado, I give you Big Ten Country

Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile
(Grease lightning go grease lightning)
Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial
You are supreme (Uh huh!)

The chicks'll cream (Uh huh!)

For grease lightning
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

The Bears got the ball back with 1:52 left on the clock, no timeouts, trailing 16-12, and 97 yards of turf to cover.  Brian Griese did a masterful job of running the two minute drill and it helped that Philly went with the soft prevent (yourself from winning) defense. The

We're gonna have a good time tonight
Let's celebrate, it's all right
We're gonna have a good time tonight

Let's celebrate, it's all right

Cellllebraation! (Woohoo!)

This weekend Brett Favre broke another record and I have heard nary a word about it. Where's the pomp? Where's the circumstance? Why wasn't the game stopped for the ensuing celebration? Why wasn't Dan Marino doing the happy dance on CBS? It's un-American that we not celebrate every one of Favre's great achievements damn it! Momma, apple pie, turducken,

Now I'm Freeeee!

Free falling,

Yes I'm Freeeeee!

Free falling.

So I turn on the news this morning and I see a story out of Yakima WA . Apparently a skydiving plane crashed with ten people aboard. Seven of the bodies have been recovered and they are still searching for the other three. Now I don't want to sound crass but... Why didn't people on the plane jump?

Next year's slogan: The Chicago Marathon, People Are Dieing to Finish.

Speaking of collapsing: How about them Cubs? That was one of the all time "We're just happy to be